One of the things that always makes me smile is when I remember that Josiah was born the month we started the adoption process and the fact that we became officially adopting per USCIS the week he was brought to the orphanage. During that time we prayed for our son. We didnt know where he was or what he looked like or when we would meet him but we would pray every night. We prayed for his health, provision for his needs, to be loved on, for his heart to feel loved, for him to know we were coming for him, for God to love on him for us, for him to feel God loving on him.... To know that those prayers were always for him and about him that entire time... just always makes me smile and know God is over all of this.
It also makes me think a lot about his time before us... I was able to track down missionaries to Josiah's Orphanage and they gave me photos of him from when he was younger. So here are all the photos that I have of Josiah before we came into the picture. Try not to drool on your keyboard - apparently being scrumptiously adorable isn't a new thing for him :)
Moral of the story? Are you waiting for your referral? Pray. Pray every minute you can. Definitely pray at night. Very specific things that we prayed for Josiah have come to fruition in him. And I love that we were connected to him in that way, in the only way we could be at the time. Trust. And pray.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
With 2012 passed I figure it is a good a time as any to update the blog. So here is a little peek in to our own heaven.
It is hard to pen the reality of how wonderful this boy of ours is and how we feel about him. Recently at a post placement meeting we were asked how we feel about our son. My eyes filled and I was at a loss for words. I didn't know how to tell her that this treasure was a piece of me. An extension of me. That I am with him every day all day and its not enough time. So sometimes we have to sneak his sleeping snugly little body out of his bed and bring him to our room for cuddles. That he has fit into our family over the past 8 months in a way that only God can ordain. That in the same way the LORD made our family of two in a very magical way, that he made our family of three and there is such a peace in knowing this is how it is supposed to be. That when I hear his little voice in the morning or after nap tell me he is awake that I get so excited to play with him and see what funny things he does today. That he has transformed lives all around us.
We had a tough road on the journey to Josiah but I would do it over and over infinitely if it always meant living this dream that God has given us.
[Josiah's favorite snack chobani yogurt is all over his face]
As you can imagine..... Our holidays were amazing. The joy and awe Josiah beamed with through each piece of the holiday was like experiencing it for the first time for us. He was of course spoiled with more toys games and presents than we could even get through. He has had so much fun spending time with family and friends and getting so much extra daddy time. It's been great!
[Christmas Play at Church - he wasn't crazy about the costume lol]
[can you see in this photo how much daddy loves Josiah? this was such a fun morning]
[the grin and giggling on the way to open presents]
Josiah is growing in leaps and bounds. He has literally gone from shoe size 6 to shoe size 11!!! And when he first came home his 24month clothes were too big and now he is fitting in 3t clothes. His weight earlier this year was 24 pounds and he is closing in on 40pounds now. His sentences are getting longer and longer and words are getting bigger and bigger. And he loves to talk and talk and talk. He smiles all the time and is a little giggly man. He loves to wear hats and ties and shoes. He is so happy and tells us all the time "mommy - I happy I happy". His language is expanding by the minute and everyone has mentioned how big his sentences are getting. We are practicing memory verses. We talk about Africa and things we love about Africa and people we miss from Africa. I can't wait til we get to bring him back to visit and especially to see all the people there that we love and consider extensions of our family.
I have been thinking a lot lately about his birthmom. Especially through the holidays. In many ways I feel accountable to her. I don't know if she is alive or passed or any of the circumstances that led to his abandonment. But I know that she must wish for him. I know that if she could have done anything to be in his life she would have. I know that I am blessed because of her and the life she brought into this world. I feel sometimes like I can't ever take for granted any moment with him because there is a woman whether in Heaven or Africa who thinks of him and wishes she could watch him grow into a man. I have to love him for both of us and enjoy him for both of us and I feel that weight in my heart.
One thing I tell Josiah over and over and over.... thinking of it - I probably say it at least 5-10 times every day - I say "Josiah - your mommy LOVES you". Sometimes if he isn't paying attention I turn him to me or I say "Do you know this? Do you know your mommy loves you." He always smiles at me and says "I love you too mommy" or "Do you know Siah Loves Mommy". or the like. hehe. But every single time I say that to him I think of her and what I am meaning is "your mommies love you". Though I don't clarify that when I say "Your mommy loves you" - I do talk to him about her and remind him that she loves him. I think there is a balance between making him feel forced to think about his loss but also not feeling like we can't talk about it whenever he wants. I hope I have that balance with him now and in the future. Because I love him, and because I want the best for his little heart, and because she does too.