Friday, August 24, 2012

Sometimes I wonder...

'So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth' Revelations 3:16

How can we live these lives? How can we sit in the lukewarm pretending it is ok? I have such a fire in my belly to do more and go more. I know I have to wait on HIM but... man its like - if you had a bucket of water in your hand and saw a man on fire would you keep walking and avert your eyes? We might think not, but isn't that what we are doing every single day? How is it that there are children growing up and aging out of orphanages and we live our lives like it doesn't matter?

We waited on a wait list for over a year before changing programs. If the wait is that long to be matched... then the need in that particular location/program/age range/whatever might not be as big at that time. But don't let that fool you to think there is not a need, it just might be somewhere else.

As my son sat on my lap nuzzling my neck while I prepared something for church this morning, he said to me "i missed you" - this is what he says to daddy when daddy comes home from work. and if you could hear it... oh man - the miss part is this high pitched drawn out syllable. It will literally take your heart and fill it with joy juice. So he is sitting on my lap saying "i missed you mommy" - when I am clearly sitting with him - and have been since he woke up attached to his hip - or he mine lol. and I thought - I wonder if he missed me before we came - like me specifically. clearly he must have missed what every kid has a right to - a mother who adores him to pieces - but - had the LORD whispered to him about us like he whispered to us about him? So i grabbed his little face in my hands kissed those plump lips and said "baby mommy has been missing you since the day you were born" fighting tears. ugh. big. ugly. tears. and he stuck his thumb in his mouth, put his face back in my neck and went back to snuggling.

And the worst/best part is its true. We started the adoption process officially the month Josiah is thought to have been born. We have been praying for him specifically from the first day. When we knew of him earlier this year we named him Josiah, which means supported by GOD, because in the first two years of his life it was God alone taking care of him and advocating for him. And to think, that this whole time he was waiting for a mommy - we were here waiting for him.

So if you are waiting over a year... pick another country, pick another program, pick another age range, open up to more special needs. Because we can't just sit here living this life, pretending everything is ok, when it isn't ok for way too many children.

Growing up in an institute is not ok. The ladies there that have taken care of my boy since he was born - for two full years - they are lovely and wonderful. But they were not his mommy. They did not advocate for him. He was alone. In a building full of children he was alone. And when I just sat going through photos from our trip with him in my lap and pointed out the one lady who was there when he was brought in at 6 weeks old and has been one of the nannies taking care of him ever since... and he didnt crack a smile and his eyes made no sign of recognizing her. But when we got to a photo of me and him he jumped and yelled "MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY" and then he saw daddy and this boy started dancing, literally dancing.

Obviously the first option is to keep families together. But not every mommy is going to live, and women are still going to be in desperate situations. So when a child has no other choice and no future to look to but growing up in an institution and then dumped on the street to fend for themself... adoption is not only the best option it is a necessary option.

So grab your homestudies, my friends, and lets go get them.

"Once our eyes are opened, we can't pretend we don't know what to do. God, who weighs our hearts and keeps our souls, knows what we know, and holds us responsible to act." Prov. 24:12


  1. Tears in my eyes...

    and praying, praying, and praying.

  2. I love love love this. Thank you so much for writing this. What a beautiful story you allowed God to write for your family by opening up your lives to HIS plans!! So glad to know you and your beautiful family!

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  4. love love love how people make assumptions with no details. :) Praying for your heart tonight Naveah.


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