Monday, July 30, 2012

Sail Away With Me... To Another World :: Josiah Goes Sailing

It is funny... the things that we take for granted. When I was young we spent a lot of time sailing. We lived aboard for a while too. There were times that I hated it (wished I was around other kids, my friends, living like normal people), and there were times where it was my normal. But I always took it for granted. My parents would tell me "Some people live their whole lives without seeing these places. You are lucky." But I thought lucky was having friends and living like normal people do. I didn't realize how blessed I truly was to experience what I did, travel as I did, and see what I did. It still gives me a chuckle (now that I live a "normal" life) that my imaginary friend as a child was a dolphin who swam behind the boat and talked to me. Or that my favorite place to sit and be alone was sitting on top of the mainsail or mizzen, especially when we were at a quiet sea. Because trust me, once the storms started kicking I was down below in my little hiding place in the main salon where I could see my dad's facial expression at the helm to know how bad it was.

Well, anyhow. My point is that last weekend Josiah got to go on his first sailing trip. My mom took us sailing out in the gulf and Josiah even "helped" my aunt Dana (see above) raise the mainsail. We had a fun time and though at first he was a little nervous he soon started having fun and even sat at the bow with me and the ladies (nana and aunt dana) watching for dolphin (which there was plenty of). 

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Josiah's Gotcha Video

This boy...

... who loves when I read him a book at bedtime, and repeats some of the fun words of his favorite books.
... who jumps into my arms and wraps his body around me asking me to rock him.
... who found out a "hurt" gets a kiss from mom and constantly has a finger or toe that needs kissing "hurt mommy hurt".
... who sings the silly songs I make up with him.
... who clasps my hands and asks me to pray with him.
... who comes running, saying "hug hug hug" with his arms wide open.
... who gets this grin on his face when he gets excited, sees me, sees daddy, etc.
... who starts dancing the moment he hears music.
... who gets real quiet when hes scared and puts on his brave little face.
... who smooches his lips and makes a noise so mommy knows its time to come receive her kiss.
... who has to try everything the hard way, and get into his jeep through the trunk or non-door side.
... who is inquisitive and brilliant and creative and a problem solver.
... who makes his mama's heart dance. :)

I am so beyond blessed that the Lord has allowed me to spend my days with this precious treasure.

Friday, July 6, 2012


It is hard to explain this kind of peace. The kind of peace that comes from having this journey behind you. It came to mind recently how this really felt. I felt like while we were in it, from beginning until the moment we got off that plane... that at any moment the phone would ring and someone would be giving us news that broke our hearts. It happened more than once. And no matter which program we were in, I always felt like at any moment the phone would ring and my heart would once again break in to a million pieces.

I feel like I was holding my breath for two years. I felt like I had let out the exhale two years in the making. I could care less where my phone is (other than when an adorable kodak moment pops up). I could care less when it rings, I don't get a pit in my stomach waiting for caller id to pop up. I don't wait for a call hoping it bears good and not bad news. There is no pending doom feeling. The phone rings or doesn't ring but it doesnt hold me captive.

My days are filled with this boy who has this smile that makes my whole body sigh. When he yells "mammy mammy" and reaches for me it finally feels as it should be. When he just wants to sit and rock and soothe on the neckline of my shirt, it is how it should be. When we sit on the floor and let the cars in our hands talk to each other, it is how it should be. When we cuddle under the covers watching little bear, it is finally as it should be.

Next week we get to finalize so he will officially be our son in the eyes of the state of Florida. He will legally be as if he was born biologically to us. But from the moment we laid eyes on him and he came and hugged me, he was ours. It was as it should be.

On another note of peace - I am ordering this webcam while I am in fear he will one day try to climb out of the crib and hurt himself in the fall. Rather than worrying about that and losing the peace I am so happy to have - I am putting this in the nursery so I can have eyes on him at every moment. There is even a free iphone app that comes with it so I can watch him on my pc or on my iphone home or not. WOOT!

D-Link DCS-932L mydlink-Enabled Wireless-N Day/Night Network Camera