Thursday, January 12, 2012

Words from Him

Take delight in the LORD,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalms 37:4

When I started this blog up I chose that scripture for the bottom of the page. Lets read into it a little. On first glance it could seem a little Joel Osteenish, delight in the Lord and he will give you what you want... Rather, I believe the intention is that if you get closer to the Lord, find your joy in Him, spend time with Him, seek Him, read His words, talk to Him, listen to Him... that He will give you the desires of your heart, but your heart will be changed by your relationship with him. So what you want - won't be the same.

With a distant relationship to the Lord, it is easy to desire things of this world... money, big houses, cars, success, respect, fame, etc. The closer we are to Him, the more we want what He wants... justice, peace, love, joy, family, relationships, salvation... And it is His joy to give those to us. He delights in blessing us in those ways. When I hand-make a Christmas present for someone that takes a long time to make, when the time comes to physically hand the gift over I get so excited. When my fingers bled for months cross-stitching a framed piece for my mom, I was giddy about handing it to her and seeing her joy. Imagine how the Lord must feel when He has already suffered and done the work of the sacrifice and it comes time for Him to "hand" us salvation. Amazing.

I started my life very spoiled and selfish. I grew up in a family that for the most part gave me way more than a child should have. I have, even as an adult, had people balk at my last name (before I was blessed with a much better one) knowing of my family. While it could have been worse, the spoiling, worldliness, selfishness certainly started me off on a self involved way of thinking. Like everyone, I battle with my former self at times. But for the most part... I am not who I was. One of the most telling signs of a changed self is recognizing different desires, desires that often made no sense, and created mocking and condescension. Oh how that takes a toll on pride ;) The Lord began to put things on my heart. For a time it was to work with youth. Whereas children would annoy me and I would avoid them, suddenly I wanted nothing more than to spend all my free time being their friend, someone to talk to, and someone they could trust and rely on. For about 6 years my life was youth ministry. and I loved it. Then the Lord slowly started to speak to me about adoption. Before I knew it my heart was practically screaming at me about the fatherless. Every where I read in the bible the words were jumping off the page at me.

Adoption was not something I was much familiar with in my young life. I never dreamed as a child of mothering a child born of another. I was under the impression adoption was something you did if you couldn't have "your own". Can I tell you how much I hate that term "your own" now? Anyhow, the Lord grew this passion in me and soon I could barely speak about adoption without my eyes filling up. The Lord also built this passion in my husband. So blessed. So we are hoping and praying that He will indeed give us the desire of our hearts.

This weekend I found the matching verse. I secretly plan to purchase thisafter the promise is fulfilled and hang it in the room.

For this child I have prayed; and the Lord has granted me the desires of my heart.
1 Samuel 1:27

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