Wednesday, November 9, 2011

What I learned last night...

Last night at MAPP we focused on the transition from foster home to adoption home. Here are some of the things we learned, mostly common sense but worth repeating...

  • Disruptions & Dissolutions

    • A disruption is when before the adoption is completed it is terminated

    • A dissolution is after an adoption is completed it is reversed (though the teacher always reminds us that there is a no return policy :) )

    • It is very very important during the 90 days the child is with you that you determine as soon as possible if there is a problem. It is much harder the further you go, and it only gets worse if its not working and you don't seek help.

    • The stages of dissolution are:

      • negative feelings, the negatives seeming to outweigh the positives

      • blaming the child for everything

      • talking to people outside the family and negative feelings amplifying

      • giving ultimatums to the child

      • termination

    • It is very important to call someone at stage 1 to either work things out or stop the adoption before it goes further, otherwise it is harmful to everyone involved

  • Transitioning

    • The foster parent is key to the ease of the transition

    • If the foster parent properly prepares the child for the adoptive family the child will transition easier and will have less emotional trauma and self esteem issues

    • The child trusts the foster parent so more than the words the fp says but the way they say it will determine the child's approach to their adoptive parent

    • Most FPs are amazing and show the child pictures of the new family, tell them what to expect, encourage child to call adoptive parents mommy and daddy, talk about them excitedly, take part in transitioning events and celebrations, etc.

    • Some FPs struggle at the loss of the child who may have been with them for years, and so convey to the child that this is not a positive thing, which causes the transition for the child to be one more horrendous event in their life.

    • If possible, continuing communication and relationships with the FPs could be key to helping the child with their self-esteem and with the transition.

    • It is vital for the adoptive parent to move at the pace of the child with the transition, to make sure they are not pushing too fast in the relationship and to match the child for their comfort and ease of transition.

    • It is vital for them to feel special and loved and wanted, because they are once again being moved and often wonder if its something they did wrong.

Lots of other fun stuff.. LOL... but this was the gist of it. :) Happy Wednesday!

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