Tuesday, October 11, 2011

What I learned tonight...

... figured I would share the main things I learned at mapp class tonight/previously. Probably things we all know, but good to remember.

  • Never show/share any negative feelings about your adopted children's biological parents with them. If you do have strong feelings based on knowledge you may or may not have or assumptions you should work through them with a counselor because kids can pick up in the tone of your voice, and expressions your true feelings. Kids identify with their bio parents even if they never met them, so when you dump on them you are dumping on your kids.

  • Affirm that the children's parents loved them, even if you don't know what the circumstances were.

  • The most important thing to do in order to help hurting children is structure and consistency.

  • Children gain trust in their parents after continuing to meet their needs. The child has a need, the parent reacts and fulfills the need, the child relaxes until their next need. As this cycle repeats trust is gained and attachment is built.

  • When a child's needs have not been met they do not learn to trust and attach.

  • When a child experiences a trauma through neglect or abuse their emotional age often fails to develop beyond the age that trauma happened.

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