Saturday, October 15, 2011

This is going to hurt...

... and no... it won't be over before you know it.


If I could talk to myself two years ago when we were starting our process to adopt a child from Ethiopia that is what I would say. Or maby not... maybe its better to learn along the way. I mean I knew it was going to be long. I knew it was not going to be easy. I knew it would require sacrifice. But I didn't know it would hurt so much. From beginning and throughout.


When people started hearing that we were adopting attacks were thrown, insults, nasty comments. It blows me away what Christ, adoption, and trans-racial families draw out of people... the person inside them that they cover up most of the time. We all have ugly inside us in some ways. But the ignorant things that were spoken early on will forever paint how I see some people. Its sad. I wish I could unhear them.


The disruption earlier this year hurt beyond what I can explain. I wouldn't want my worst enemy to go through it. It broke me for a while. I am just now getting back to normal. I imagine I will always flinch when something reminds me of what happened in Orlando.. and the insensitive comments afterwords... wow.


But in the end... there is nothing that can compare to the hurt that our son will have experienced. And short of being an orphan ourselves, there is no way that we can comprehend the hurts he will have. The hurt we have gone through over the past few years has changed us, it has grown us. Individually and as a family. Hopefully these hurts and hurdles are forming us to become a better family for this child we will one day meet.

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