Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Journey To Healing :: Part Two


My Journey To Healing Part One brought me to a point where I realized that I did not need to be brave to overcome my fears, but just obedient and trust God more fully. But I felt like there was more that the Lord wanted to show me about this. I did not have to wait long because two weeks after the retreat I learned the second part of all this, at a marriage seminar at our church .


One of the teachings at the seminar was about how in our culture right now women tend to try to overpower their husbands and be the "boss" or "head" of the family. When they said this I felt like it totally rang true. It seemed like many families are run by the women these days while the men take a back seat when it comes to making decisions for the families. I definitely felt convicted for doing the same. Its not that I wasn't trusting mr awesome to make all the decisions for the family. I think we made most decisions together, but I definitely would push my opinion and often try to be the decision maker when possible. Its not that I didn't trust mr awesome... but I just didn't trust that he would always make the best decision... so... yeah I suppose that is a lack of trust. Not due to any failure on his part but due to my unwillingness to let control go.


While our culture teaches that the man being the head of household is archaic and sexist, the bible teaches that the man's job is to love his wife, lead his family, and be obedient to Christ. While the woman's role is to be obedient to Christ and her husband.  While our culture may turn its nose up at these roles, men and women are clearly made differently. We think differently, we act differently, we react differently. Not better or worse. Just different. And if we were really formed differently, to take on different roles, then taking the wrong role would be like if I was schooled to be an accountant and then tried to be a neurosurgeon for the day. I don't know about you, but if I had to perform surgery for a day it would be a bit stressful for me. Or if I was an introvert (I AM) and tried to be a politician. That would be super stressful for me.


All at once this hit me. I was trying to fill the wrong role. A role that I was not formed from the womb to full. A role that I was not a good match for. A role that put undue stress on me because it was not the one I was meant for. And if I was trying to fill a role I was not meant for, then I couldn't have been doing the best job. Like when we talk about the parts of the body of Christ, a hand would not make a good foot.


I realized that though my parents were not my decision-makers anymore, I was a wife to a husband who was more than able to lead me in my life. I am married to a loving, gentle, sweet, thoughtful, Christ-loving man. What was I so afraid of to trust him to make decisions for our family and to lead us and stand for us. I can look to mr awesome for where to step next.


Now, I don't mean I shouldn't be able to do anything without asking his permission. Christ is NOT about that type of control or bondage.


But when mr awesome tells me, "babe its ok, get on the plane, we have to go get our son" - I can get on the plane and know that this man that loves me and protects me would not ask me to do something that isn't good for me. And when mr awesome tells me "babe its ok, go to this tall place with me" - I can follow him to the heights and know that he loves me and protects me and will not let harm come to me. I can look to mr awesome for my next step. God will cover our inadequacies. God will make good what we can't.


1 comment:

  1. [...] Journey To Healing Part Two brought me to a place where I found my fears can be subsided by allowing my husband to lead our [...]

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